Stray Away
by C'sMelody
Summary: They had been playing this game, this façade for so long now. Tugging at feelings, but too scared to actually embrace them fully. A sort of drabble my mind concocted.


**Disclaimer: I own it. Really. My imagination, of course.**

 **Feels slightly OOC, but it has a good reason.**

* * *

 _You brought me sunshine_

 _When I only saw rain._

 _You brought me laughter_

 _When I only felt pain._

(Donna Donathan)

* * *

 **Stray Away**

Ritsu was enjoying a much rare and welcomed alone time reading his former author's, Usami Akihiko, latest novel, entitled "Bear Days", when the doorbell interrupted his quiet reverie. He set his cup of Earl Grey tea - a gift from one of his college buddies - down on the table and stood up. Book still in hand if the need for evidence ever demanded it to be so, and incredibly peeved at the disruption (doubly even, if his gut told him anything of relevance), the young man went for the door of his small apartment, as his green eyes narrowed in anticipation.

If anything positive was to come out of this, it was that his hunches were getting amazingly accurate; but then again, the man standing in front of him always made it a point to be overly predictable in terms of his routine. Ritsu spared a glance down his neighbor's tall frame, feeling his cheeks grow hotter by the inch covered. He has obviously had the pleasure-wait, scratch that; _opportunity_ to see Takano wearing formal attire, as some occasions demanded he did so. However, poor Ritsu always found himself extra disarmed whenever such chance graced his view. Of course Takano had to look absurdly elegant and stupendously attractive in a black tux, with no bow or tie to get in the way of showing off his much appealing neckline.

Wait. What was he doing again? Oh yeah.

"Can I help you, Takano-san?"

Even he had to admit his voice sounded weak. But the strangest thing was that his boss was oddly quiet and had his face fixed in a blank expression, when usually there would be a cocky smirk to respond to Ritsu's easy-to-read entranced complexion.

"Maybe," Takano replied in his low, shiver-earning voice. "Tell me you love me."

Ritsu rolled his eyes at him, even though he easily caught the detached tone - he was, after all, an editor, and if having spent way longer than necessary with this man has taught him anything, it was how to be perceptive.

But perceiving and acknowledging are two slightly different things that don't necessarily walk hand in hand.

"If that's all, I'll have to ask you to leave," Ritsu said in a biting tone, holding the book closer to his chest like it was some sort of shield. "Good night, Takano-san."

He should have seen that foot coming, really. And maybe he did and let it happen anyway. They had been playing this game, this façade for so long now. Tugging at feelings, but too scared to actually embrace them fully.

The pale, big hand followed. Forcing their way in, as everything related to this infuriating man ever comes down to, hand and foot made way for Takano to enter the loneliness of Ritsu's apartment. According to the younger, they were standing closer than comfort could afford. Ritsu stepped back because of that, easily anticipating the other's advances.

"What?" he demanded, glaring daggers at his neighbor.

Always, always glaring and suspicious looks, and frowns and 'no' - that's all he got out of the one he loved. Takano couldn't remember having a loving glance ever come his way since the day Oda Ritsu had disappeared. Not _once_. And he was getting extremely tired. His muscles were sore from the loveless years, and his bones about to break and give in to accept that this was indeed his fate.

"I have a date tonight," he informed, again in that perfectly flat and concealed tone life had taught him to use.

"Oh." The look of surprise on Ritsu's face didn't go unnoticed, he was sure. And he was beginning to wonder why his heart was feeling so constricted when the next words came out without warning, "If you came here for suggestions on restaurants or hotels, I'm sorry, but I can't be of any help. I'm sure you know your way around here better than I do."

That was when he heard the first screech of breaking china. But he hadn't dropped anything, had he? Not even his book. And Takano wasn't carrying anything on him either, as far as he could tell.

The idea of this man - his boss and neighbor and absolutely nothing else - doing those things with someone else rather than him made Ritsu feel ill. But down the sensation went, pushed by him with enormous force.

"No, I have decided on that already."

Ritsu, in spite of any and every thing, felt that having Takano not taking any chance to make a move on him exposed his vulnerability all the more. Given that they were standing there, any type of reaction, as minimal as it could be, would be easily perceived by the observant man.

"I see." The younger man gulped down another round of nausea, drawing an unconvincing smile on his face. "You shouldn't make your date wait then, Takano-san."

Again that frantic notion of falling china tugged at his eardrums. He must have been going mad. Maybe their neighbors were throwing a party or something. However, Takano made no comment on the sound, and didn't look the least bit startled by it.

"Is that your answer?" he asked calmly, shoving his hands in his pockets.

Ritsu looked up to meet searching hazel eyes. "What do you mean?"

"It means," Takano said as he stepped forward, "that if you let me, I'll go out this door." He was so close right now. All Ritsu had to do was reach out a hand to touch him. "I'll go out on a date, Onodera, and I won't bother you again, if that is your wish."

It would be the easiest thing to stop all this nonsensical talk of leaving and breaking - he only had to touch Takano and tell him to stay. Then this episode would be nothing but a nightmare Ritsu had woken up from. And this clenching of his heart, this itching of his fingers would fade into a peaceful stance.

But that's not how they worked.

"I hope you have a good time."

Takano only nodded in response. That was the only acknowledgement Ritsu got to know his whispered words were heard. He couldn't even tell what the other's face looked like right now, for courage had left him a long time ago - around ten years back from the present day, in fact - so he didn't even try to look up.

Much louder than the first two, he heard the sound of continuously breaking china all too clearly. Several notes too high, so much so that all Ritsu wanted was for it to stop, the objects kept on crashing down and screech out their incessant hysteria. Nonetheless, it seemed as though he was the only one that heard this.

And then he understood.

There were no neighbors partying upstairs, and out of the two of them, neither had dropped anything - at least as far as physics can go. Takano had put their future and their relationship on his hands, and Ritsu had dropped it. He had _dropped_ it.

"Wait…" he mumbled, hyper aware of the trembling desperation in his voice. "Don't go…"

But it was a minute too late. Takano had already closed the door.

A thousand days passed since the night Ritsu was left facing his own closed door with an incredulous look in his green, jaded eyes, holding his book so tightly it shouldn't be humanly possible. Takano kept his promise. He never touched or kissed his subordinate, Onodera Ritsu, again. He didn't even look at that last chair of the Emerald department, or talk to him other than when deemed necessary by their jobs - which came as rare as diamonds nowadays. And when the wedding invitation graced wide, green orbs, they couldn't help but water.

But that had been his choice; the consequences now seemed like a flash-forward from that day.

The sound of a book falling on the wooden floor startled him out of his stupor, and brought in another round of nostalgia. "Bear Days", it read. He went to pick it up, but he halted just as his fingers brushed the binding. A thousand days ago… He had something more important than picking up this book to do. Yes… Yes, he'd needed to pick up something else.

Ritsu opened the door with a foreign urgency pressing at his heart, ghosts dancing before him. But _were_ they really?

He didn't mumble the words this time; he shouted them loud and clear.

"Wait!"

Ritsu felt strikingly cold. He stumbled out of his apartment, feeling flustered, silly and robbed of a very precious gem. Takano was by the elevator, back turned to him and overall looking unreachable. But Ritsu could try. If he didn't, failure would be a given. All he could do was to try his best.

His neighbor's head turned slightly to the left. And Ritsu ran, the feeling of every little thing that he deemed precious escaping from his sloppy grip proving to be overwhelmingly unbearable.

"Don't go!"

He was getting closer. Maybe. Maybe he could reach him. Adrenaline pumped his veins to a point his thoughts were nothing but a blur of tangled wants and needs that all but urged him to move faster.

"Why?"

This was it. The ultimatum. His very last chance. And Ritsu would reach him.

He stopped just behind Takano.

"Because," he started, crouching slightly and gasping for air, "I'm asking you to."

"Why?" the other pressed.

No, that wasn't enough. Ritsu would _definitely_ reach him and silence this raging sea of fear and insecurity inside himself.

"Because you should do those things with me. _Only_ with me," he tried again, voice cracking.

Would that be enough? Perhaps. Ritsu needed certainties, not maybes. He was close enough to reach the other, to make up for what he hadn't done a few minutes ago. He could try to mend what he had broken, but he needed help. So Ritsu took the risk for the first time, poured his heart on the game, bet with everything he had: he wrapped his arms around Takano, grabbing at the other's blazer as if his life depended on it. And maybe it did. His forehead found Takano's upper back the most soothing of places; his nostrils found Takano's cologne the most beautiful of symphonies.

"Please don't go to that date. Stay… w-with me."

Takano didn't say anything. The only sound that filled the hall was Takano's texting and the ring of the elevator as it finally reached their floor.

"I'm… I'm begging you."

A pair of large hands loosened the hold of the smaller ones. Takano turned around precisely when the doors closed, beaming, effectively making Ritsu's breath hitch on his throat and his cheeks glow and his heart dance. Ritsu beamed back, albeit in a much more sheepish fashion.

They were the most beautiful sight.

That night, they restarted from scratch with a long embrace - one that made Ritsu realize how perfectly caged he fit in his lover's arms. A gentle kiss full of hopes and promises followed. And then he lost track of the order of things, for they were all wonderful.

Since that day, Takano kept his promise, and Ritsu kept his own too. No longer Takano kissed or touched his subordinate, Onodera Ritsu - he loved only his equal who, oddly enough, shared the name with his co-worker. When Ritsu asked for a transfer to the literature department, all he got was a reassuring smile and loving words from his lover, and no harsh comments from his boss. When Ritsu took over his family's company, Takano was there to cheer him on along the way. And when they first came clean about their relationship before the new CEO's parents, the dreaded orphaned feeling Takano some times told him about evaporated from their heads.

But none of that came close to when Ritsu first set eyes on their wedding invitation that all but acknowledged their long way and their undying love for each other. Happy tears streamed down his cheeks, and Takano was there to gently kiss them away.

A larger hand came upon his, different shades of skin grazing the slightest bit as it picked the book up. A familiar shiver ran down his spine. He murmured his thanks, accepted the proffered book, and glared just for show when a snide comment (that was as far as meaning any harm as Europe from where they were standing) left the other's mouth.

Essentially, that is not how they work. However, that night when Ritsu had made the choice to stray away from their game, he had taken an unknowing step towards change and happiness.

* * *

 **I literally just wrote this in one go, so please tell me how I did.**


End file.
